Ruthless Arrangement (Gallo Famiglia Book 1) by Brooke Summers

Author:Brooke Summers [Summers, Brooke]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-05-24T18:30:00+00:00

SEVENTEEN

TEAGAN

I wake to darkness and silence. I still, listening to see if I can hear anyone moving around outside. I don’t. Elio must be gone. I sit up and hiss out a harsh breath as pain radiates through my arm. Everything that happened today hits me.

Nell.

Oh God, Nell.

She didn’t deserve what happened to her. She was so happy. She was finally living the life she had always dreamed, and because of my selfishness, she’s dead. That coldness that lived inside of me for years creeps back in. That numbness I had whenever pain hit me takes over. This is why I haven’t let anyone in. I can’t deal with pain. I bury it deep and don’t let it affect me. I can’t. If I feel the weight of the loss, the guilt, and the heartache, I’ll crumble to the floor and break.

I can’t do that. I won’t allow anyone to see me at my most vulnerable, especially a man who views me only as a sex object. To Elio, I am his to fuck and that is it. That’s all I’m good for. It’s all I’ve ever been good for.

Sometimes I wish I was back in that basement before Jade and Kelvin found me. I wish they hadn’t discovered my dark corner and had left me be. I’d have died peacefully. I’d be with my mom, and no one would have been hurt.

I feel as though I’m drowning in the depths of the ocean. I have to keep wading through the harsh currents, pushing myself every day to keep going. If I don’t, a floating raft appears. It’s a way out, but it’s a final way out, and every minute that passes, that fight I have, lessens. Right now, I’m within touching distance of the raft. It would be so easy to touch it, to grab a hold of it.

I release a gasping breath as I push to my feet and climb off the bed. My entire body feels weak, and I know that with the numbness being back, it’s only going to feel worse as the days pass. Living in the clubhouse, I remember the numbness. How deep and excruciating it was. It will overwhelm me to the point where every single thing will drain out of me. Then time will stand still, and if you don’t have any fight left, there’s only one way to stop it.

I pad through the house, my breathing deep and hard. I need something, anything to help me. I come across a pair of headphones. Elio had Lorenzo purchase them for me, along with a new cellphone, and they set up an account for me to listen to music.

I decide a bath will be the best thing for me. It’ll calm me. Hopefully with the music, I can tune my thoughts out. I’m scared right now. I haven’t felt this dark in a long time, and I haven’t hit this deep so quickly. Everything is tumbling out of control. I’m not sure I can pull myself from it this time.

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